I think too much when I'm high.
From: Angela
Date: Apr 26, 2008 3:07 AM
Subject: I HATE MAKING DECISIONS
Body: because I change my mind A SECOND later.
OR I second guess myself.
OR I think too much about everything I say because
I don't want anyone to perceive what I do or say differently
than what I meant for it to mean.
Why do I even care? I care about a lot of things I shouldn't
probably care about.
I should just stop caring right now
about things that don't matter. RIGHT NOW. It feels good.
There are far more import things going on in this world than
who is doing what, who is friends with who each week,
who got in a fight with who, words always start to sound weird
after using them repetitively. Say that word.
It says tit in it. LOL.........anyways, who isn't guilty of caring
about things that are mindless? Doesn't everyone think they
think too much?
I hate how I characterize people yet I can't stop doing it.
What else do I hate about myself..this feels good..
I hate not knowing sometimes.
Not knowing how something
might turn out in accordance to your actions.
But I stopped caring a couple paragraphs ago.
Remember?
I wonder who reads my ramblings.
posted by I Live To Let You Shine. at 7:58 PM
1 Comments:
I submit to you that much of your "knowledge, beliefs and convictions" are in fact an amalgam of the stuff that you have been absorbing all your life. That it is time you considered that the lens in which you view the world is corrupted and in fact how you are seeing things is corrupted and you are therefore not seeing things as they really are! Now that, if true, is a powerful statement that should give you cause for concern. Let’s discuss:
Would you admit to adopting the views, habits and opinions that most attract you? I was a particularly strange youth who took to listening to current affairs programming on the radio from an early age. I loved the liberal libertarian mindset that said you could be all you want to be, argue over morality and the person with the convincing argument gets the most votes and wins the day! Of course this allowed me to shape the world to suit my proclivities which of course unfettered were sex, drugs and rock and roll. I didn’t have to look far for the company of those who shared my passions. Did we have a good time? Yes and often. With our energy, enthusiasm, stamina, sense of sporting passion and testosterone of course we had a great time. Singing rugby songs with gusto, playing bar games with abandon, seeking to entertain and have a grand old time.
Nobody asking what person do you suppose will emerge as a result of this behaviour and mindset? What effect would you like to have on the world around you, what sort of legacy do you hope to show, how so you intend to lean into the future? Nobody saying “I tell you the truth, I speak from love, I care about you”. Don’t dismiss these questions. I did have ideas of character, morality and legacy but these were cultivated in a culture that celebrated young men behaving like idiots, encouraged excess and couldn’t care less about the outcome. Where was my father during this time, my friends’ fathers, the fathers of the women whose bodies I was hoping would carelessly give away their bodies, where were the uncles, godfathers, where were the patriarchs? I’ll tell you. They were emasculated by an overbearing liberal led feminist ideology that had somehow convinced them that the wisdom that had lasted for millennia about the roles of man and women was all nonsense and that equality and diversity was the new religion. There is no truth, we can all formulate our own truth and morality and it is the height of arrogance to suppose you have any right to tell me what to do. We took a vote and you lost! Well check out the streets people, see the prison population, see the incident of domestic violence and the divorce courts and see just how profoundly you have lost?
Just stay with me a little longer and suppose, hypothesise just for a moment that there is a Creator God that exists beyond time and this material universe. Just use your imagination to suppose that something cannot come from nothing and before there was anything God existed for eternity, living in perfect relationship as an outpouring of love between the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Have you got that image of love? Good. Now think; all you have to do is believe and you have His righteousness. You do nothing else, no chants, no praying five times a day, just recognise that he loves you, he willingly died for you. He knew you before time began and has power over all the creative forces ultimately illustrated in the historically recorded event of being resurrected from the dead!
Now that changes everything. The course of your life, the purpose you have each time you go out to party, the meaning of spending time amongst people and serving them, loving them. Be you a nurse, checkout girl, soldier, banker or baker you have a soul and a purpose. Now get out and party hard, dance hard, crank up the volume, have a great time but do it knowing that it has a purpose and that’s to enjoy your Father’s love.
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